Emotional and Behavioral Changes in Adolescence

Emotional Changes

Beginning in the 1950s, psychologist Erik Erikson described a series of stages and challenges that each individual passes through in their emotional development. In teens, he termed the main challenge "Identity versus Role Diffusion." This is the time when the teen is challenged to ask, "Who am I?" By exploring this question, the teen is establishing an identity that is clear and distinct from the expectations of others. This process includes gradually developing independence from one's family of origin. A teen who successfully meets this challenge will come out of it with a strong sense of identity and clear goals for the future.

Erikson termed the main challenge of the pre-teen years (ages six to twelve) "Industry versus Inferiority," reflecting the need for recognition for one's accomplish­ments at this age. In the late teen and early adult years, he termed the main emo­tional challenge "Intimacy versus Isolation," reflecting the struggle to establish and maintain healthy, close relationships.

Erikson referred to these challenges as "stages," but we now know that there is a great deal of overlap among them, and people who do not resolve a particular chal­lenge at one age may return to it later. Thus, adolescents who are still working on "industry" haven't necessarily missed the boat on "identity" and vice versa. For ex­ample, a teen who is focused on "industry" may be struggling with feelings of compe­tency. She may be investing more energy into academic activities and expending less energy on self-reflection. Her thinking may be more noticeably concrete as she works to acquire a sense of achievement in school or to master other intellectual activities. A teen focused on "identity" may be less focused on school and more on finding a peer group that shares her values. However, all adolescents face these challenges to a greater or lesser degree.

Behavioral Changes

Identity progresses from establishing yourself as separate from your parents, to find­ing a group, special activity, or mentor to identify with or idealize, to then finding and accepting your individual identity, warts and all. Because this process takes years, young adolescents often get stuck between wanting to do things independentiy versus wanting their parents' support. (For example, "My mother won't let me go there" is often used to resist peer pressure, even if it's the teen herself who doesn't want to go there!)

The desire for independence also waxes and wanes depending on circumstances. A teen may look very independent one day, and need a great deal of support the next. Try to accept a certain amount of inconsistency with humor, but be clear what the rules are about important behaviors (for example, attending school, coming home by a certain time, and issues related to safety). Teens need to have a say, but parents must still do what's in their best interest. Freedoms should depend on the level of responsibility the teen has demonstrated. Don't expect teens to acknowledge your advice, though. They often appear not to listen even though they are (it's not cool to admit your parents are right).

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Heightened self-consciousness means "all the world's a stage" for teenagers, and the audience of their peers becomes very (sometimes overly) important. Young ado­lescents also tend to form highly exclusive groups or cliques, leaving some feeling alienated. Older adolescents become gradually more accepting of individual differ­ences, usually forming more inclusive social groups toward the end of high school. Until then, kids who are not part of the "popular group" often have to focus on a few peers with a common interest (difficult for some).

Encourage your teen to treasure the friends she does have, rather than yearning for those who won't accept her. Also, foster tolerance by encouraging your teen to be respectful, interested, and open to learning from a variety of people with different appearances attitudes, and orientations - whether your child is part of the "in" group or not. This attitude makes for healthier high school environments, and probably wouldn't be a bad thing for the rest of society either.



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