Scial Phobic - Eating In Public

Another problem the social phobic has is eating in public, particularly in a restaurant or at an important social function, though some people may find the experience of eating with just a couple of friends or even members of the family equally distressing.

Rose, aged twenty-two, had an unfortunate experience: when lunching with a group of old school friends, she had to eave the table, feeling unwell and nauseous.

I could not rejoin them because the feelings just over¬whelmed me again, and although my friends were sympath¬etic I felt ashamed and embarrassed. Since that time I have felt unable to eat in front of other people. As I am to be married in six months' time the thought of the wedding reception is with me the whole time and I live in dread of the occasion.
I make no excuses for including all these examples of social phobia. I feel it is important that people understand just how life-disrupting this problem can be for the sufferer.

Blushing is a major problem for those who feel the need to hide their fears from other people. A scarlet face is impossible to conceal and inevitably draws attention to the blusher and comments from their companions.

Martin: I have been a social phobic since I was a child of ten years old. Even before this age I had other phobias and terrible anxiety. This phobia has ruined my whole life. The main symptom is a terrible fear of blushing, which happens instantly in nearly every social situation. The way I deal with these situations may sound pitiful to others who can't possibly imagine how it feels.

At the age of eleven in school I used to sit always against a wall so that one side of my face would be covered. Nobody could see that side because of the wall. Then I would rest my elbow on the desk and cover my other cheek by resting it in my hand. 1 would literally be trying to hide my face from everyone. I would avoid any group situation and I used to spend hours walking the playing fields on my own, avoiding contact with anyone.

Other ways I would try to deal with this phobia were to pretend I had a cold or flu and whenever someone spoke to me I would take my handkerchief and blow my nose (another way of hiding my face). At other times I have burned my face on purpose with a sun lamp so that no one could see when I was blushing. I was teased and ridiculed in school, even by my so-called friends.

I can still recall the terrible anxiety that I felt from 9.00 till 3.45 every day of the week. However, it didn't end there because the phobia applied to absolutely everybody, so when I got home I couldn't eat with my parents. I would take my food on a tray to the darkest room in the house to eat it, as I was ashamed of blushing in front of my family, and unfortunately today at the age of thirty-five I still am.

Because of PAX I have been able to face up to the problem and seek help at last. Though I have a long way to go I am determined to overcome this, having tackled the first obstacle - learning that it doesn't matter.



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