Four Scenarios That Cause Depression

Here are four common scenarios that can push you into despair and depression:

Post-natal depression

If someone is prone to depression, giving birth can trigger off a chronic bout. There is a lot of conjecture about why women become depressed after having given birth. Reams of medical papers are devoted to the theorising of post-natal depression and the role that hormonal change plays. However, there are some very simple explanations for it: being physically shat­tered; the overwhelming responsibility of caring for the baby; a feeling of isolation at home with our partner having returned to work, and maybe giving up our own job with all its support system. When we are depressed the last thing we want is to have to take care of a new baby, regardless of how much we adore it, but we feel we have no choice.

Retirement

Just sitting still with ourselves can be a traumatic experience if we've spent years being busy. Whatever we have been running from catches up with us when we stop. We are not experienced in sitting still and taking time to do what we want. We also give up the power and the glory of being needed and fulfilled in our previous role. Once we are retired, it can seem like our raison d'etre has gone.

We are competing with everyone

The very nature of the 'civilized' world lends itself to many people feeling like a failure. In our better/best world, it is not hard to feel that we will never be good enough. We are constantly bombarded with ideals, images and stories about how we should live our lives. Icons are held up as examples of what we should achieve. Tales of others' perfect lives come at us every way we turn and it takes a strong character not to buy into these fantasies of what we need to buy/earn/sell in order to achieve happiness.

We have lost our childhood

For some of us, none of the above had to happen for us to feel depressed. We have always felt depressed and we don't really know what it's like not to feel that way. This is because we didn't have the childhood we were entitled to. The child­hood we are entitled to is one that is full of fun and happiness; where we feel safe and warm knowing that, however naughty we are, we are still cherished. We should be fed and washed, be able to sleep soundly, and be nurtured and guided through life's lessons. If we are disciplined, it should be in a way that feels firm but fair.

Those of us who did not experience this may have grown up feeling isolated and uneasy with others, especially authority figures. We constantly seek approval and have lost our identity in the process. We get guilt feelings for standing up for our­selves and we put others before ourselves. We fear criticism and take it as a threat. We feel victimised and are attracted by this weakness in others. We judge ourselves harshly and have very low self-esteem. We have become dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and willing to do anything to hold on to a relationship.



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