How Long Should We Cry when We Have Depression

Cry for as long as it takes. Some people need a couple of days to cry; others may take longer. This depends on the length of the depression that we have suffered.

However, we never cry as much as we think we will cry. It is surprising how little of that deep, searing pain from which the tears of healing spring we need to feel in order to beat depression. Having asked many people the question, 'How long did you cry for?' I have put together some examples of how long others needed to cry to heal certain parts of their depression.

When we are stuck and we think we will never recover from a loss, it is often because we find it so hard to confront that searing pain. We find that when we do reach it, we stay there for only moments at a time. We feel so good afterwards that we may wish to stay there for longer in order that we cleanse ourselves totally. We have to be patient and pace ourselves. As long as we surrender and lessen our methods of medicating our feelings, our natural development will take care of this powerful healing process.

What if I can't cry?

If you cannot reach your tears, do not fret; your psyche is not ready. If you want to reach your tears and you can't, your anger will be covering them up. Anger and pain are like the ends of a seesaw. When one lies low, the other swings high, but they both live in us, and they directly affect each other. For the moment, concentrate on expressing your anger and frustration; the pain will come. There are ways to encourage this process.

Firstly, find a photograph of yourself when you felt vulnerable and study it. Cast your mind back to when the photograph was taken and remember how you felt. Feelings don't leave us and our mind can always recall those times. Give it to someone else with whom you feel safe and ask them to describe how they see you in that photograph. There is nothing like gentle reflection from someone whose comments we appreciate to offer a picture of ourselves that we can't always see.

Secondly, write about something you have lost and read it aloud to someone who matters. If you haven't got access to anyone, then record your story on a tape and play it back. As you listen, feel the emotions in the bottom of your stomach. Practice these two techniques and this will help you to release deep pain.

If we think about our lives, we spend most of our waking hours trying to do everything we can to avoid facing our emotions. From the moment we get up to the moment we drift off to sleep we are on the move - doing, doing, doing. That's without actually medicating our feelings with work, shopping, sugar, alcohol etc. It is more likely that we aren't in touch with our feelings than that we are able to access them at will. So, don't fret if you feel numb for sometime. Your feelings will surface as you slow down, surrender and write it out.



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