How to Find Someone to Help

The fastest route to beating depression is to get help from those who understand your feelings. Talking to others who have been through similar experiences to you will help you feel less isolated. Much depression is created by the negative effect that others have had on us; likewise, people who have a positive effect can accelerate recovery from depression.

We have a distorted perception of ourselves when we are depressed. We feel that something is wrong with us, that we are different from everyone else, that we are not normal and that we are alone. These things can be tackled with good reflection from other people. When I went to see a therapist, I said over and over again that I thought something was wrong with me. I said this for weeks and each time she would reply, 'There's nothing wrong with you except your distorted thinking about yourself.' Although it took a long time for this to sink in, I came to believe her because she kept saying it. She never budged. Whether or not I could have got through depression without this information is a question I will never be able to answer. However, I ate it up like a hungry infant and allowed it to nourish me, even though I didn't believe it for a long time.

This is the kind of help we need: accurate information that we can grasp and assimilate. There are thousands of places to go for help, but I have simplified them into four categories, listed below. If you take up two of the suggestions, a network will appear and you will discover other resources available to you.

The stumbling block people often-put in front of themselves is 'it's not for me'. If this is your voice then here is the bench­mark: If you can get good information about yourself from your close circle then you need look no further. However, if talking to your friends doesn't work, get help. We live in a culture of the 'stiff upper lip' and you may not want to venture out to meet strangers and pour out your problems to them. When I first started talking to people about how depressed I was, I felt really angry about the fact that I was even there. I hated talking to others about myself and dismissed most of what I heard for a couple of years. This is not unusual. Many of us have to be crawling on our knees before we ask for help. It is the nature of depression, because we feel so much shame for needing help. If it hurts enough, we will either medicate our feelings or find someone to help us.



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