EVERY DAY, DO AT LEAST SOME OF THE FOLLOWING:

• Sink into your depression
• Let go of trying to control your feelings
• Stop trying not to be depressed
• Don't soldier on any more
• Look down towards the floor and feel the weight on your shoulders
• Feel the despair and hopelessness
• Feel the unfairness and self-pity
• If tears rise to the surface, let them out
• Ask no questions
• Indulge in your melancholy-you have permission to do so
• Feel the anger if it rises to the surface
• Let out your anger if it feels right
• Take time off- get a sick note
• Concentrate on you and no one else
• Stay in bed, damn the world
• Reel with the self-admission that you are depressed
• Make no big decisions
• Abdicate as much responsibility as you can
• Shelve your projects
• Abandon your duties
• Suspend self-criticism for surrendering

Don't move on to the next suggestion until this period has finished. Put this book away, except to re-read the first sugges­tion. It is now time to completely let go. Don't be afraid of what might happen; you won't lose any more control than you have lost already. Good things will come from this stage. If you feel worse than you have ever felt before this is because the feelings that you have been running from are surfacing. But it is more exhausting to be constantly running than it is to STOP, turn around and face what you have been running from. You use up far more energy running away than turning around to face the unknown. This is because you have had to contend with the exhaustion of running plus the fear of the unknown!

When I had a breakdown caused by depression, it was the run­ning away from the problem and the feeling scared of accepting that I was depressed that wore me down. Once I had begun to accept that I was depressed, I stopped betraying myself and sought help. This was the beginning of my road to recovery.
While you undertake these tasks, you may get a sense that your depression is not as great as you thought. It's the pushing away from the depression that can make it seem overwhelming. As in so many areas of life, when we don't face what we are afraid of, whatever is tormenting us can seem so much bigger than it really is. The only way to learn this lesson is to face the threat. Unfortunately, no one can do this for us. We have to do it ourselves.

However, the good news is that each time you face your worst fear, you will grow in stamina to do it again and your courage will increase. Depression can feel like a big, black, bottomless pit.The reality is, however, that it is your fear that creates the black hole, not the depression itself. As your recovery continues, you will begin to notice a foundation to the black pit; then the pit will become more shallow; finally, you may forget there was ever a black pit there at all.



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